It’s The Man’s birthday and I am remembering past birthdays. I ruined his birthday two years ago. We were at The Mayo Clinic for a few weeks while I had my riskiest heart surgery. It was a scary time for both of us, for the risks we were taking, not knowing if it would work or, because of the way my heart plays coy when there’s an audience, if they’d be able to even see what the problem was. It was incredibly stressful. The trip involved 7 or 8 months of planning and everything happened to come together on/near The Man’s birthday. Though he assured me it was not the…

This story involves my husband’s hemorrhoid surgery, lots of diarrhea, Denny’s, and sex. Before I get to those highlights you’ll need some background information. •Three nurses and our pharmacist all specifically told us to take the colon-cleansing medicine two hours before the surgery. •Following their instructions was easily the most grievous surgery mistake we have ever made. (We’ve done more than twenty surgeries so that’s a significant statement.) •My husband, aka “The Man”, had to shower because the pre-op instructions said to “shampoo.” (They didn’t say what to shampoo but we figured he should shampoo both ends to be on the safe side.) •Our water heater found a farm, and…